The Best Christian Music Video Ever

Danielson Famile - Rubbernecker

I deal in superlatives. Unsatisfied with something being the best, I want to go one further, and establish, once and for all, what is the best ever. In this case, I got one: Danielson Famile's "Rubbernecker", above, is indeed the best Christian music video ever. Why? Well, because it's hilarious and ridiculous and awesome. Okay, maybe it isn't the best Christian music video ever. Maybe that award should rightfully go to, say, Satan Bite the Dust or perhaps Jesus is Still All Right With Me". But Danielson is an historical treasure and icon of Christian musicmaking and deserves to be mentioned on par with the so-called greats.

If you're feeling like grabbing a piece of history, look no further than the latest Danielson (Daniel Smith, actually) release, Trying Hartz: First Fruits '94 to '08, a Danielson retrospective that spans from his early Master's thesis, A Prayer For Every Hour, and takes you all the way through his remarkable , more recent efforts, Ships, and Brother is to Son.

Daniel Smith is a Christian living out his Christianity in the most incredible of ways: bizarrely, and impossible to hate. Sure, it can be annoying, but there's nothing distrustful, unkind, or unreal about what he does, and it's his ability to be himself so thoroughly that has earned him a cult following outside of Christian circles. If you've never taken the time to get to know Daniel Smith, do so now. Or just watch "Rubbernecker" again.

Funny How Things Change...

Looking back to the beginning of this U.S. election (in which I cannot vote, sadly, for I am Canadian), I initially found myself in McCain's corner, primarily because I really like him as a politician. I always have. But it's hard to get behind the man anymore, what with the full-scale sellout he appears to have done of his independent, "maverick" beliefs in order to win this election with right-wing voters. It's not working, and I know I'm not the only one who feels like McCain is losing this election rather than Obama winning it.

All that said, I've also found myself gravitating towards Obama because of some of the unique slander he's has to face up to, among them, the idea that he's an elitist. It doesn't fly for a number of reasons. First, Obama is running for president of the United States. Of course he's an elitist. So is every presidential candidate. Second, there's a long and storied racial history following black men who receive college educations and then are spurned by their own people, believing them to have sold out to the school of whiteness. It's not true, but the underlying distrust of an educated black man's allegiance to the common man is not ahistoric in the slightest.

Maybe that's why I find this clip from Onion News so funny. It's just spot on.

Context!

This video from the 2007 Canada-Russia super-series has been making the rounds lately, ever since Brandon Sutter (the one dishing out the hit here on the late Alexei Cherepanov) was brutally hit by Doug Weight in an NHL game the other night that left him with a concussion.

The reason? Well, Weight's hit on Sutter was, by the rule book, a "clean" hit, and, since people who like the violence in sports want nonly to defend horrible, career-threatening head shots, this video of Sutter perptrating an illegal hit (he clearly left his feet) is their defensive argument.

But there's something nobody else is talking about. At three seconds into the video, a Canada player goes down near Cherepanov. It looks a little like the guy trips. But look a little closer. The Canadian skater is slew-footed by the Russian player, who then takes the puck up ice and is hit before he gets rid of the puck by Sutter, #12. Now go back to the fall again. Who goes down? Why, it's #12! That hit, my friends, is a revenge hit served ice cold. Cherepanov trips Sutter intentionally, and Sutter looks at him (watch him take note of the offender as he gets up), then skates after him looking for the hit. Sutter knows exactly what he's doing when he leaves his feet. He's not trying to make a clean check: he's trying to take revenge.

Not that it makes it better or worse--just different. All that said, it's about time the NHL began leveling out punishments for head shots, regardless of intent or the rule book, but rather because of the results of the hit. If a player is severely concussed on a clean hit, then the player that hit him should get a suspension. If you want to avoid getting suspended on borderline crap, then avoid it. Players are smart, and they know that accidents can be avoided with care. Let's protect our hockey players' heads--if we're willing to take these kids out of high school and college and throw them into a sport with no regard for their future (since they have no career to fall back on if they fail, and rarely a working body either). then let's prolong their careers as long as we can by keeping their heads UNHIT. It's not rocket science, people, but it seems impossible for the NHL head office to figure out even so. Why? The suits are all former NHL players who were hit in the head and now lack the rational capacity to protect the next generation. At least that's my theory.

But whatever. Let's watch this clip again and again, because violence titillates.

Cold!

In honour of the cold weather, I thought this clip from The Mighty Boosh might get us all in the mood to combat nature's icy kiss.

And remember! The scarf: not just for ladies anymore. Scarf it up, men.

Fantasy Ballin', Vol. 2

Well, the Chunky Tumblers drafted this morning and--what a gong show. I guess I did well in the overall, but I'm just absolutely furious with myself for making a colossal blunder. Follow me.

Round 1 - Amare Stoudemire
Yes. He's the best fantasy big man in the game, so I'm happy. I followed some advice I found online that said to get the best three players you can in the first three rounds, then build your team around them. Off to a good start.

Round 2 - Al Jefferson
Sweetness! I had Jefferson last year, and he was money. Now I had two of the best fantasy big men, and I was certain I had the best one-two punch.

Round 3 - Tim Duncan
I saw him sitting there, realized how consistent he always is, and decided to grab him, completing a trifecta of bigs so perfect I could barely contain myself. I then eyed Devin Harris, and decided to pick him a little early to make sure I had that pass-first point guard I wanted to grab yesterday.

Round 4 - Ray Allen
SOMEHOW I CLICKED THE WRONG NAME. I saw Allen come up--he of the declining stats, the uncharacteristically bad field goal percentage, and the frustrating inconsistency that killed me last year--and I nearly quit the whole thing. Needless to say, the next drafter picked Harris, and I was left sitting there, looking like a complete idiot. I hate you, Ray Allen.

Round 5 - Gerald Wallace
Still completely discombobulated, I drafted Gerald Wallace without any clue what he brings to the table. I thought he was a big man, but it turns out he's a small forward who puts up good points, steals, and blocks for a smaller guy. Not bad, I guess. A utility man. But I'm worried because management doesn't seem to like him over in Charlotte.

Round 6 - Jermaine O'Neal
So I calm down and get back to picking bigs. I figured, now, that considering my whole freaking season rested on old man Allen's ability to age backwards, I may as well take risks on players with big upside. O'Neal's knees are a liability, but if he stays healthy, this is a great pick.

Round 7 - T.J. Ford
And speaking of upside, T.J. Ford has the ability to out perform Devin Harris, but he also has the ability to miss the whole season with injury. But now that I'm a foolish risk-taker, why not? I like that I got both pieces in the Toronto-Indiana trade. One of them has to pan out. Right? Anybody?

Round 8 - Ben Gordon
I hate that he comes off the bench, but I needed perimeter scoring and Gordon can deliver thirty points in a night. He's got some injury troubles, but if he can stay healthy, I think this year, Gordon and Rose take over the Chicago backcourt.

Round 9 - Charlie Villanueva
It was at this time I realized I only had one SF-eligible player on my team, so I selected Villanueva, because he was the best one still available. I know nothing about him other than that he has some sort of skin or body hair condition or something.

Round 10 - Derrick Rose
He's a rookie, yes, but I also think he and Gordon wind up starting in the backcourt by the season's end. Hinrich has reached his ceiling, and you've always got to be nervous when a high, high draft pick slides in behind you. Here's hoping my predictions about Chicago come true.

Round 11 - J.R. Smith
Smith is an underrated scorer, and, I think in the new, faster-paced Denver offense, he's going to post some ridiculous numbers for a guy on my bench.

Round 12 - James Posey
It looks like Posey's going to be starting for New Orleans, which means he'll get me tons of three on open looks like CP3, and he'll get me some extra steals and blocks. He's a utility guy that I won't have a problem sliding into the starting lineup on any given night.

Round 13 - Cuttino Mobley
I picked Mobley for one reason: he's a starting shooting guard. He can knock down 30 points a night, and he can hit three and shoot the ball well. I'm not sold on his field goal percentage, but it was my last pick, so whatever.

And that's my team.


Complete Chunky Tumblers line-up

• PG - T.J. Ford
• SG - Ray Allen
• G - Ben Gordon
• SF - Gerald Wallace
• PF - Amare Stoudemire
• C - Tim Duncan
• C - Al Jefferson
• Util - Charlie Villanueva
• Util - Derrick Rose
• BN - J.R. Smith
• BN - James Posey
• BN - Cuttino Mobley

Fantasy Ballin', Vol. 1

If you've never had a fantasy basketball team, here's how it works, at least in my league: you select 13 NBA players. Then, as the year progresses, your team's total stats are measured up against every other team in your league, and the team with the best average ranking in nine different categories (points, rebounds, assists, blocks, steals, 3-pointers, turnovers, free-throw %, and field-goal %) wins. It's epic.

Deerhoof - Basketball Get Your Groove Back

Last year was my second year playing in a fantasy basketball league, as I managed two teams over at Yahoo! Sports. It was a year of steep, steep learning for me, as I developed my skills in waiver pickups and learning to properly read the stat sheet. Last year, one of my teams even finished second, although I got a massive boost from a disgruntled manager who quit halfway through the season and traded me Lebron, Ray Allen, and J-Rich for scraps. That I still lost the league speaks wonders about my ineptness, I think. This year, I'm a dedicated fantasy basketball manager with aspirations of winning it all. I even decided, for the first year, to take part in live drafts, which means you're obligated to be in front of your computer at a certain time in order to pick. I chose very early times, because it meant it wouldn't interfere with work if it took a long time, and woke up this morning to select the players for my first team. I thought, since this is, among other things, a personal blog, I should share the frustrations of my fantasy basketball teams, The Demon Snacks and The Chunky Tumblers, with my loyal sports readership (Thomas Cairns). Today I take you through the draft.

Round 1: Kobe Bryant
Kobe's an obvious first-round guy. An easy choice.

Round 2: David West
Having established a guaranteed point-getter from the perimeter, I wanted an inside guy with good percentages and the ability to give me a double-double. West was available, and I wagered that he's going to improve from last season, as the entire Hornets squad will. I wanted Al Jefferson or Chris Bosh, but he went earlier than I thought they might. I'm a little unsure about this pick, because, upon further inspection, West's rebounding numbers are not where I thought they were.

Round 3: Josh Smith
An absolute fleecing. Smith is one of the most underrated fantasy performers in the game because he plays in crummy old Atlanta. But the guy produces in every fantasy category. In a number of leagues, Smith is a second round pick and West a third-round pick, so I feel like I redeemed myself even if West doesn't put up second-round-quality numbers.

Round 4: Chris Kaman
Still concerned about guaranteed rebounding after picking up two good rebounders, I chose to go with Chris Kaman, who proved to me last year that he's a reliable starting centre (he was on the winning team and I desperately wished he was on mine), because he gets boards and doesn't suck at free-throw shooting. Now, I felt confident about my boards. It was time to get a pass-first point guard.

Round 5: Andrej Kirilenko
What the heck was I thinking? Devin Harris was available, as was T.J. Ford, and somehow, I wigged out and picked another big? I should have taken either of them for the guaranteed seven assists a night, but I didn't because I was somehow enamored by Kirilenko's blocks. I justified it, saying Ford will be available in round 6.

Round 6: Tony Parker
He wasn't. Ford was drafted one spot early, and I pulled out a good chunk of my hair, settling for Tony Parker. Parker's a driving PG, not the pass-first one I wanted. Still, he's consistent enough. He'll be a passable starting PG, but he should have been my backup. Now I have to hope this year gives us the unselfish Kobe Bryant and not the one who drops 81 points and 2 assists, otherwise I won't have enough guaranteed assists to keep up.

Round 7: Tracy McGrady
I think T-Mac's a grade-A tool, and the fact that he always looks stoned keeps me concerned he'll wind up suspended for violating the league's drug policy. Still, he's a stud, and when he plays bad defensive teams, he tears them apart for big points. I was surprised he was still available here, until I saw after making the pick that he was injured. If he gets healthy for opening night, however, I'll look like a genius for getting him so late, right? Right? Anybody?

Round 8: Al Harrington
Another pick I'm not happy with. I wanted another starting center, and wound up picking Harrington because he's one of only a few center-eligible players you can also count on for threes. When he plays, Harrington's a viable fantasy option, but the problem I have is that this idiot comes off the bench a lot of nights, and is thus not consistent. I guess the good thing is my two starting centres have good free throw percentages.

Round 9: O.J. Mayo
I had wanted to take a PG-eligible rookie in the later rounds and was hoping for Derrick Rose, but he went late in round 7. I justified this pick because I'm confident Mayo will contribute. Memphis is young, and Mayo will probably be their go-to-scorer, if he can learn to drive into the paint. It's entirely possible that he becomes a total fantasy stud for me, but it's also possible he busts, giving me a bad FG percentage and a lot of turnovers, or worse, winds up on the bench for somebody who sucks, like Antoine Walker. But Mayo's been ranked pretty high on pre-draft fantasy rankings--higher than where I drafted him--so I feel like this was a good pick.

Round 10: Manu Ginobili
When I realized Manu wasn't picked yet, I drafted him immediately. He makes my percentages skyrocket, he gets points, dimes, rebounds, and helpers. He's a great all-around fantasy player, like a lesser Josh Smith. Why wasn't he taken much, much earlier? I just assumed he was. Well, it's because he's out until December. Crap. However, this suddenly makes Tony Parker that much more valuable, and it also means that, if Manu comes back totally healthy, I'll have one of the best backcourts in my league. Parker, Manu, and Kobe? I suddenly feel much, much better about my assists. Let's just hope I'm not totally out of it by mid-December.

Round 11: Drew Gooden
I hate Drew Gooden. I didn't want to pick him, but my only other option for another big man to round my bigs was Marc Gasol, and I wasn't comfortable with two rookie Grizzlies in my lineup. Two Grizzlies at all is a recipe for disaster.

Round 12: Luis Scola
Originally, this pick was Yi Jianlian, but then I remembered the rule I learned last year: don't pick second-year bigs who showed no signs, near the end of their rookie season, that they were going to be any better. Last year, an early Andrea Bargnani gamble cost me the season. This year, I didn't want to wind up hating the Chinese when I found myself second-last, so I ditched Yi for Scola immediately after the draft when I realized the Argentinian had somehow slipped down this far.

Round 13: Chris Quinn
Originally, this pick was Kyle Korver, but that's when I realized Korver's only good for three-pointers, and when he has his off-nights (which happen often) he kills your FG-percentage. So I ditched him to take a chance that Quinn wins the starting job in Miami over rookie Mario Chalmers. If he does, he'll be dishing to Marion, Beasley, and Wade all night, so he could provide me the assists I blew when I didn't pick T.J. Ford.


Complete Demon Snacks Lineup

• PG - Tony Parker
• SG - Kobe Bryant
• G - Tracy McGrady
• SF - Josh Smith
• PF - David West
• F - Andrej Kirilenko
• C - Chris Kaman
• C - Al Harrington
• Util - O.J. Mayo
• Util - Luis Scola
• BN - Drew Gooden
• BN - Manu Ginobili (injured)
• BN - Chris Quinn

I feel like I have a well-rounded team that, while it may not run away with any categories, won't be at the bottom of anything either. Last year, I lost because my free-throw percentage and turnovers were in the toilet, even though everything else was near tops in the league. I'm hoping the Demon Snacks will win with high averages and good percentages.

Tomorrow, I draft for The Chunky Tumblers and will try to rectify some of the perceived mistakes of today. I'll keep you posted on how things go. Wish me luck.

How in the World Did Colin Powell Become Insignificant?

Okay, let's talk Colin Powell. Has anybody seen this video? In it, Colin Powell endorsed Barack Obama for president. This is a huge deal. This guy served under both Bushes, and seemed, for some time, to be about the only feasibly black person in the world who might have ever had a hope of running for president. Colin Powell is a big deal to Republicans. He's an incredibly wise man. He's an icon; he's a right-wing icon, and he's voting for Obama. If you read between the lines, the reason for this endorsement is that the Republican party has lost their way. They have given far too much of a voice and a stake in this America's identity to out-and-out religious psychopaths ("more to the right than I would like to see it"); they've exhausted themselves polarizing the nation ("All towns have values; not just small towns have values"), they've built up a culture of racism around Muslims; in essence, they've become the party of demagoguery. But whatever. The big issue here is that Colin Powell has endorsed Barack Obama.

Why does it not matter? Well, because he's black.

This really is the point we've come to. It was a massive shock--at least to me--when the head of the L.A. chapter of NOW endorsed Sarah Palin, especially because we all know if Palin were a man, she'd be hated by that organization. There was no sense to the endorsement other than the ladies' shared womanhood and it completely devalued the political power of people who share a common minority trait with a politician. The Colin Powell endorsement seems to have fallen by the same wayside. Even though the man gave a reasonable and intelligent reason for his decision, I think most people shrugged it off because it was expected. It frustrates me how the black voice and the women's voice has become foregone conclusions in this election, as though all minority groups will simply follow a like-skinned or like-gendered leader off a cliff. No, no, the myth of us as unthinking animals and lesser species is over. We too share a capacity for independent thought, as evidenced by General Powell.

This issue comes up in the eighth minute and Powell, consummate professional that he is, takes the criticism in stride and deconstructs it. No, no, this is a decision borne out of much thought and deliberation. If it were a race thing, it wouldn't have been a difficult choice at all. But it was. Consider Colin Powell's political background and consider how different Obama and he actually are. A prominent Republican just stepped across the floor, people. This is a huge deal. It saddens me to think that Colin Powell's public demonstration of how to thinks for oneself will be completely ignored by people who very clearly cannot.